A
Top Gear Fan Fiction
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Pairing : JM x
RH, JC x FC
Genre
: Friendship, Romance, Hurt/Comfort
Quotes
: “.... This path that I choose is something that I don’t want to
messed up.”
Mirrors
Chapter VI – Count on Me
You
can count on me like one, two, three I’ll be there
And I know when I need it, I can count on you like four, three, two you’ll be there
‘Cause that’s what friends are suppose to do
Bruno Mars –
Count on Me
There was
a song, a melody. Playing soundly filling the air of that white, small house.
It was the soldier who dance his fingers at the black and white tuts of that 20
years old grand piano. Passing every notes, completely absorbed in his own
story.
He still had
another months to spent, and yet battlefield was something he had already miss.
The mess, heat and noises. Maybe he was right. Maybe sold this house was
something he should do years ago. Let the past just the past, made a new life, spent all
of his free time in that small yet comfortable flat.
Far away from London.
And then the song
changed. It did happened as his mind filled by a vivid picture of someone he had
known for some quite times. The hard press changed into a smooth touch and the rapid
move replaced by a sad, gentle gesture.
It was the
famous, cliché song every heartbroken ever heard. A melancholy song that was
made when the maestro falling in love with a young women who simply
wasn’t interested with him.
“Moonlight Sonata,” said the voice
across the room. “I never heard you play that song before, James. Something
related to hamster?”
“Hammond is not the main issue
Clarkson, you know that.” He lied, raised his head facing Jeremy who now stood
right beside him, “I didn’t heard you coming.”
“Just a couple of minutes ago.
Thought you were not home but then,” he made a pointing look at that piano,
“It’s been a while since the last time I heard you play. Still good as always.”
“Thanks for your praise,” he said as
he closed that piano, “So Clarkson, is there any news you want to tell, or it’s
just another drop by from your not-so-called journey?”
“Oh come on mate, I just want see
your face again. Tea please – with ice,” he said as James walked into the
kitchen with rolled eyes, “I heard that Richard visited you three or four days
ago.”
“How did you know?”
“Woman’s talk.” There’s a frown on
his mate’s face as he hand him the ice, “It seems that the hamster and my wife
had their own special secret – I meant, as wives.”
“Ei? What do you mean, wives?”
“Oh come on James..., don’t
dissapoint me. Richard. Wife. You. Understand?”
“You talked nonsense again,” he move
slightly on his sofa, raised his hand when Jeremy tried to said something,
“Just, tell me your story.”
“Hammond visited
us yesterday, and not for my surprised, it wasn’t me he was looking for. It’s
Francie. He said he had discuss about a winery article on
Francie’s magazine but I know it was something related to you.”
“So you eavesdropping.”
“I’m not at home, my dear mate, it’s
Francie who told me.”
“And what did she said?”
“Well, she thought as your friend I
must know this, but I think as your friend I’m not gonna tell you this,” he took
a single sip, “I’m sorry mate, it doesn’t mean that I don’t want to help you,
it’s just, I don’t want to poke my nose into this problem. Woman’s talk –“
“Woman’s problem.”
“Glad you remember. What I want to
say is, James, I think it’s not a bad decision if you try once more.”
“For what? Get another reject?
Humiliated myself? No thanks,” he leant on that sofa and crossed his arms,
palmed his eyes as he sighed saying, “This feeling, Jeremy, is not a game for
me. This path that I choose is something that I don’t want to messed up.”
# # #
It was Richard
who stood in front of that door. Biting his
lips, weighing from on toe to another when he wait the presence of
the one who answered him from inside. Part of his mind regretted this
action but on the other hand he
need someone to shared this thought.
He held his breath when that door
opened, smiling brightly when it was Francie who showed her face. “Hi.”
“Oh my, hello
Richard,” she widened the door, “I’m sorry but Jeremy is not at home right
now.”
“No, it’s okay. I, um, it’s you I
want to talked with.”
A raised brow from her, “O, oh.
Okay. And the main topic is?”
“Well, erm, are you completely alone?” a relieved escaped when he got a nod,
“It’s about James.”
***
Richard said
thanks when Francie came back with a cup of tea and some biscuits. For his
privacy the generous lady had chosen her mini gazebo in the backyard where usually she used to spent with Lily as their
meeting point. A simple quiet place and a little far from the main house.
She sat at there, right in front of her colleague,
rest her back at that classic-asian-rattan chair and made a ‘go on’ look.
“James, well, we
– uh..., we had dinner some days ago – I invented him. Honestly, that day I
decide to asked him something, but he already..., sort of, answered me. He –”
because the hamster had lowered his head he missed Francie’s raisen brow as she
saw how red his blush was, “He said that he loved me.”
There was a
paused, but the lady didn’t response anything except her softened expression. Sometimes
when something so girly like this happened,
Francie would just squeaking and asked him everything like she had back to her teenage days
again. But the silent Francie meaning that she took this problem seriously.
“Have you ever thought about this
before?” asked him when Francie kept her shut.
“And if I say yes?”
“Was that because James had told
you?”
“It’s a ‘no’ this
time,” she smiled when the expression Richard have had changed immediately,
“Can I speak now, my dear? Okay. When the first time I saw you met James some
years ago, the expression you made had remind me of someone I know very much.”
“And that person is?”
“It’s me. Do you
still remember the feeling you felt when James stepped into that car, Richard?
Then let me asked. Were those feeling felt funny in your chest? A little hot in
your body? Something strange with your stomach? Did you always tried to catched James’
figure during the journey and thought about how could you contact him after
that trip had over?”
“How did you know?”
“I have told you before. But,
Richard, before we continue, can I asked you something again?” a nod from the
little man, “The reason that you came here sweetheart, it rings me a bell that
your answer will be a bad news for him. It’s either you didn’t answered him
yet, or....”
“I rejected him.”
A sigh escaped from that thin, red lips, “Why? Because you didn’t
love him anymore?”
“No! – I mean, I...,” a sigh, “Look,
it’s complicated, okay? I’ve said before that there was a reason why I invented
him on that dinner. That time, I want to asked him about this condition – my condition.” He buried his face onto his palms, took a deep breath before he began to speak,
“I’m the only Hammond left from my family, I have no one except my friends and
co-workers. The only family relation I can share with are just with you and Jeremy. But James is
different. He treat me so damn good despite the fact that we just know at each
other for some days. And the feeling I have to him do not change a bit even
since the first time we met. At first I thought that this feeling was because I
need someone to shared with, to fill my loneliness after being alone losing people who I care
about. But then I realise that the feel I have
was not just because of that.” He raised his head, facing Francie
who saw him in return.
“Then why you rejected him?”
“Because, Francie, I’m still not
sure about this feeling to him.”
“Then let me asked. Who is the one
you always search when you need a company? Who is the one you always contact
when he’s gone? The one you always talked about to Jeremy and I after that trip
until now?” a blush from her mate, “Don’t blind yourself Richard, don’t shut
your own heart to him.”
“But, Francie, he didn’t ever talked
about it when we met again.”
“And that was when...?”
“Two days ago. I stuck in front of
my house, long story, called James then spent the night in his house.”
“You sleep over in the house of the
one who you had reject before? How could you be so that rude?”
“I’m not rude! I just, just...,” he
lowered his head again, “I felt bad at James that time. Was that action, that rude
for you?”
“Then what is it if it’s not rude?”
They watched at
each other, “So his feeling to me is completely
gone then?”
“How so?”
“When, I tried to saying sorry at
him, he kept me to stop the topic. And –“
“For me, Richard, personally, I’m
not agree with you if you think that James is not in love with you again.”
“Then why he didn’t became all bold,
insisted me to accepted his feeling again?”
“Don’t be a pussy
Rich, you are a man just like him. And with that reason too, from my point of
view, his silent or his choice to not raised the
main issue again was because your condition – the two of you’s condition, is
more complicated than male-female relationship. A good gentleman like James must
be know that forcing a best mate in the same-sex like
you about his feeling is like raping their heart to accept his feeling, like
forcing them to sat at the opposite chair in the church with him. Especially when
the one he had crush with, is the one he thought the straight one.”
Richard opened his mouth but he
closed it again. Silent for a second before saying, “James is someone who is
very important to me.”
“And so as you to him.”
“He is the one I
don’t want to lose after so many people
who I ever love.”
At this point,
Francie went silent and leant back on that chair. She took a deep breath, eyes staring deeply
at that bloke when she said something which would opened Richard’s eyes, “I
don’t want to sound nasty Richard,” their eyes met, “But please remember that
you’re not the only person who have lost their loved ones.”
No response from
the hamster, he just sat at there stared blankly
at whatever there was behind Francie. He was lost in his deep thought,
realizing what Francie had said when someone shouted their name from distance.
It was Jeremy.
# # #
Back to this day, Jeremy had gone.
Well actually he had gone to the
bathroom leaving James alone in that small living-room, he came back later with
a frown on his face. Spotting his mate still on that brown sofa, he sat back to
his place as his mouth began to asked, “Are you packing?”
“Oh, you saw it.”
“You are packing,” he took a single
sip, “Not a big one, where are you going?”
“They contact me.”
It took a couple
of minutes before Jeremy realize the meaning, made his brow raised watching
his colleague in disbelieve, “Are you going back to that field?” a nod, “But,
James, there’s still a couple of months for you to spent with us, why does they
did that?”
“Well, sometimes something like this
happen Jeremy. But not always binding, depend on the situation.”
“Just like this one?”
“Just like this one, yes.”
“Then why don’t
you refuse them? I mean, this time, this you-went-back-to-your-real-house time,
is the first time ever James.
And it’s just, what? A month? And you decide to leave us again?”
“But it’s a duty for me.”
“Rubbish. It’s about Richard,
right?”
“Wha? – No!”
“Come on James,
I’m tired of your lies. It’s because of him, right?” this time he got a defeat
sigh followed by a single nod, “Why? Because he reject you that time? Don’t be
such a girl mate, you still have a hundred chance to have him – no, shush, listen to me. Believe me mate, if you try a little
bit more and asked him again, I’m sure he will –”
“It’s enough Jeremy.”
A pause from him, “Enough, for
what?”
“Me. Living on here.”
“Wha – what? Do
you mean, you’re going to sell this house? Move into that flat permanently?” he
sighed when the man who sat in front of him nodding again, “Look, James, you
should never used those Air Forces thing as your escape like before. You’re the
one who told me that you loved your job right
now but that doesn’t mean that you can used it for a
replacement of your own love for someone.”
“I’m not run Clarkson, I’m just need
my time to calm down.”
“Calming down?” he scoffed, “You are
mad, James. You said that battlefield is a great place for calming down?”
“I’m not saying that.”
“Yeah, but that’s what you mean.”
That made the
soldier rolled his eyes, “At least my mind can
be focused at there.”
“You’ll hurt
Hammond’s feeling if you really go,” he saw his mate had gave him an
are-you-fucking-kidding-me? look but there’s any spoken response. Taking the opportunity to
speak again, he chose to asked, “When do you leave?”
“Tomorrow morning.”
“So soon? You didn’t told anyone,
did you?”
“Well honestly, I’m going to phone
you this night to tell you about this trip.”
“And Hammond?”
“No, I keep it a secret from him.”
That made Jeremy eyeing him, “You’re
mean.”
“Up to your opinion, but my trip was
purely just to calm my mind. Beside, he deserve better.”
“Better? No
James, you’re the one,” he heard a scoff and Jeremy just rolled his eyes, “Oh
come on mate, how could I missed all of those glares? All of those sentences?
Or those sharing-secret-smiles? I’m neither blind James, nor deaf. I’ve watched
all of them, all of your – the two of you – little secret feeling.”
“You overstate
this problem Clarkson. This is a real
life, not a romantic novel that Francie always read. Oh
yeah, and about her, please don’t tell her either after you come back from
here.”
“So it’s just me then.”
“Yeah, I’m afraid
if she knew about this she will force us to take my departure.”
“And Hammond won’t miss it,” they
silent for a moment, “Then when will you come back?”
“I don’t know, but if I will you’re
the first person I will contact.”
“I appreciate that.”
“Just, please, keep it as secret
okay?”
“You can take my word for it.”
A/N: A billion apologize for you guys, really, for my
ridiculous delays. My exams had killed me and I’ve got a cold some days after,
plus there’s a thousand of assignments, statements and lab works are waiting
for me. I’m tired of this life. (TnT)
Please forgive me and I hope you enjoyed this chapter as well. See you soon
*wink (I hope, A.S.A.P)
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