A
Top Gear Fan Fiction
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Pairing : JM x
RH, JC x FC
Genre
: Friendship, Romance, Hurt/Comfort
Warning
: New character’s appearance
Quotes
: “... Why you choose to death when you still had a chance to alive?”
Mirrors
Chapter IX – The Scientist
Nobody
said it was easy, no one ever said it would be so hard
I’m
going back to the start
Coldplay –
The Scientist
Richard
woke up with a loud gasp escaped from his lungs, pupil dilated and shivering
lightly from his sweat. It was a dream about James, and though he can’t
remembered, he sure that wasn’t a good one.
The
rythm of his beating heart was still fast which made him felt uncomfortable on
his bed. With a little hope he tried to caugh his breath and get hold on his
heart again, tried to cleared his mind and relaxed. Then a quick glanced at his
clock told him that he had overslept, almost three hours late from his normal
schedule. Without a second thought, Richard jumped out of his bed and ran into
his bathroom, trying to wipe away all of his damn mind with a cold water.
He
still on his breakfast when his phone buzzing, begging for answering whoever
was calling. And Jeremy’s name was on it’s caller ID, along with three missed
call from the same person.
“Hammond?”
“Clarkson.”
“Where are you now?”
“Home,
breakfast.”
“Where the hell have you been mate? I’ve
tried to called you many times but it’s just your damn voice mail that answer
me.”
“I’m
sorry, it’s been a hard days for me. Just say what happen.”
“Well, promised me if I told you, you will
stay calm and –“
“Is
it James?” He said much too fast and accidentaly dropped his fork.
“Richard.”
“Is
it?”
“Richard please stop.” He paused a
moment, “Yes it’s about him.”
That
made this young man gulped in nervous, Please
don’t tell me he’s gone, he thought.
“Rich, are you still there? Hey Rich –“
“Yes,
yes, how is he?”
“Don’t worry he’s on here, I’m with him
right now.”
“Oh
God, thank you so much. I’ll come in minute.” He almost hung up when Jeremy
shouting his name again. “What?”
“Promised me you will stay calm when you saw
him.”
“Promise.”
Then he hung up.
Though
he said that, he sure he couldn’t do that. The fact was his heart beating fast
and he began to panic, he tried wetting his lips but that couldn’t help. Jeremy
just said that he’s there, no hint of his condition. And he said that Richard
must promised him for not freaking out when he met James.
What the hell is going on?
Richard
grabbed his phone and began texting Mark told him that he couldn’t visit his
vineyard today then got up grabbing his Porsche’s key. “James, if you die when
I found you, I will never forgive you.”
The
drove he took from his house to London Hospital felt three times longer than usuall,
though he had take a shortcut. Then a figure of that white building could be
visible a moment later, made him couldn’t wait to just jumped out of his car
and ran immediatelly when he reach that place.
“James
May,” he said as he reached receptionist, “I need to know where’s James May
being treated.”
“Sir,
please be calm, can I know who are you to him?”
“Oh
for God’s sake! Just tell me where is he!”
“Sir,
I’m sorry but I can’t – “
“Richard?”
A
woman voice called out Richard’s name had save that poor nurse from another
Richard’s shouting. That hamster turned onto that sound and found Francie stood
not far from him.
She
walked over to her friend and patted his shoulder. “You alright? You look
somewhat –“
“Where’s
James? Jeremy told me that he’s on here.”
“Calm
down Rich, thanks God I found you here,” she turned into that nurse and do
apologize before pulled Richard away from there into James’ room. “What Jeremy
had told you about?”
“Not
much, just said that James had arrived and he’s with him now.”
“Nothing
else?”
That
made Richard frowned and gave her a suspicious glare, “What do you mean ‘nothing else’?”
“Like
when he had arrived I mean.” She got a shake head from him, “Well, James had
arrived last night,” Richard eyes glared at her, “We’re gonna told you about
this but we couldn’t do that. Not when you still like this.”
He
almost shouting but all was lost when his crystal clear speech. Francie was
right, the Clarksons were right, they got their point for not telling him.
Richard was still on his bad personality that time, and if they told him about
James’ arrival they won’t be able to avoid the fact that at that time Richard
would just went directly to the hospital like this. Only when it was midnight
and everything could went wrong on his drive.
“I’m
sorry Rich.”
“No,
it’s okay. You’re right.”
They
walked in silent and reached the third floor of that hospital. Francie kept
walking followed by Richard until she stop in front of a sliding door then
glanced at him. “You sure Jeremy didn’t told you something else?”
“No,”
he silent for a moment, “He just said to promised him I won’t freaking out when
I met James.”
“Just
that?”
“Just
that.”
“Then
I will say exactly the same to you.”
“What
do you mean?” Richard chocked his breath when he saw James laying on the
mattress along with a variety of life-support equipment all around him. He
could heard the gentle voice of James’ respirator or the beeping of his ECG(1).
Jeremy – with his doctor uniform – sat on a small chair next to the bed and
looked at Richard when that short man walked slowly toward them.
“Hi
mate.”
“Jeremy,”
he creak his voice, “What the hell had happen to him?”
That
old man moved from his chair so that he could let Richard sat at there. “I’ve
been told that his heli had been shooting down. He remained in coma since his
last surgery. There’s about seventeen-or-so men in there, almost half of them
are dead but James and quite some other blokes are the only ones who’s better.”
“Better!?”
He snap out and grabbed Jeremy’s coat, hissing he said, “What do you mean he’s
better!? Look at him! Look all of those fucking tools! How dare you saying that
he’s okay!?”
“My
God, Richard! I’m not saying that he’s okay!” He took off Richard’s hand and
eyeing his friend’s already crying eyes, “What I mean is, this is a miracle he
can save from that accident without losing any part of his body. If you see
what the hell had happened to his coleages you will think the same things as
me. Now calm down,” he let go off Richard to let him sat again.
“Tell
me his report, all of them.”
“You
sure?” He just got a nodding answer from his coleage. Jeremy then raised his
clipboard and began read James’ report, “Abrasion in the body, no GSW(2).
Burns in the
upper extremity(3), neck and chest. Puncture to the left
head, open wound in the abdomen. Fracture in the ribs. Fracture collum femoris
dextra(4), fracture of the spine and occipital bone(5).”
He paused when he heard a groaned escaped from his mate’s mouth when he read
that last two injuries, but he continued. “Sharpnel all up the arms, some on
the body and legs. Possibility: brain damage, internal bleeding, paralysis,
body trauma.” He fold back to another page, “Medical treatment: all being
treated, at least five surgery, left in coma to raised his condition.” He
closed his paper, watching Richard who trembling and didn’t said anything. He
move his eyes on his wife who gave him a single nod, “We will wait you
outside.”
As
that Clarksons went out Richard began to cry softly. He held James’ bruise hand
and grabbed it softly, didn’t want to lose him. He bite his lips as he tried to
get a better look at James’ face. There’s another bruise, a bandage wrapped
around his head and a hint of blood still could be seen though he believed it
was not as bad as before. He moved his eyes from James’ face onto his shoulder
and found another bandage. All of the things that Jeremy had read before began
to resound in his head.
“I’m
sorry James.”
James
eyes were closed, as if as he was on his deep slumber. The things that made
everyone remember that he was still alive were his breathing and a beeping
voice from his ECG. But that wasn’t enough to satisfied Richard Hammond, he
need to saw James woke up, talking, not just laying hopelessly on top of this
bed with a creepy hospital’s tools all around him.
Jeremy
and Francie came inside when Richard bend down his head and place it on James’
hand. He lifted up his head to take a quick glance at Jeremy then placed it back
again, didn’t bother about what Jeremy would thought about him. His tears were
still running down from his eyes, wetting James’ hand and that mattress.
“Let
me stay on here.” He said trembling, “I will tell Mark to get my clothes.”
“I
know you will said that, Francie and I have made some shcedule about when you
two will alternate keeping him.”
There’s
no answer from Richard for a moment, “No, please. It was all because of me, I’m
the one who made James went out for his job again.”
Jeremy
took a sharp breath, “But though all of this never happen we couldn’t deny the
fact that James’ job is dangerous. There will still a chance for James to take
a risk of his job. We all know that Richard.”
They
heard a groaned from Richard as an answer, a sign that he didn’t agree with
what Jeremy had said. But when that doctor tried to speak again his wife grabbed
his arm and shoke her head.
“Well
then Richard,” it was Francie, her voice was gentle like always, “It’s okay if
you want to do it yourself, but please remember that we’re here as your help,
James is our family too. Just keep in touch with us anytime, we mean that.” And
with that she’s gone along with Jeremy.
Leaving
Richard alone with James on that room.
# # #
It
was almost a week since James’ arrival, and Richard condition was even worse
than before. As if Richard was one of the patients in this hospital instead of
a family member of one patient here.
Though
the Clarksons or Mark always taking their time to visit and helped him treat
James, Richard didn’t have a heart to left him. He was only really leave when
Francie kept pushing him to just go home for a better sleep or a bath or for
the sake of his job.
Just
like this time, when Francie came and told him to went home because of his
condition Richard refused her and sat stubbornly beside James. She just sighed
and pitied him, then left two hours after that. Leaving a meal for Richard like
always.
**
Richard
woke up from his slumber one day. He glanced at his watch and found out it was
ten in the morning, another overslept. He groaned then walked into the bathroom
to washed his face, hoping it could wipe away all of his tiredness.
Then
as if the God Almighty playing with Richard’s life, there’s a knock from the
door just when Richard went out from the bathroom, he opened it and found a man
stood tall in front of him, maybe just a year older than James. He looked
handsome, with his light brown hair and gentle eyes and some get-well-soon
flower on his hand and a backpack clung losely on his shoulder.
“Can
I help you?”
“Hi,
I’d like to met James May if you don’t mind. One of his friends on field.”
“Yes,
of course. Please come in.”
That
man walked inside, saying ‘thank you’
to Richard before hand him his flower and sat beside James. Richard put those
flowers on an empty vase while his eyes watching that man who kept his silent
and eyeing James with something on his eyes. Somewhat made Richard’s heart
clench a bit.
“He’s
a great man,” he said immediatelly which made Richard jumped a little.
“Yeah,
yes he is.”
“It’s
a pleasure for being his friend,” he glanced at Richard who stood beside him
and smiled, “I’m Ben Collins by the way.”
“Richard
Hammond,” he replied shaking his hand, “Are you from the same squadron as him?”
“Sort
of. Met since the first time he joined us.” Ben moved his sight from Richard
back to James, “The first week we met, I thought that he’s a little bit of....”
“Annoying?
Odd –“
“Old
fashioned – “
“Aircraft
enthusiast –“
“But
smart.”
“Brianiac.”
Richard grinned.
Their
eyes met when Ben said, “You must knowing him very much.”
Of course I am. “Not really much.”
Ben
smiled a little before leant forward on James’ bed, placed his hand right
beside James’, “He ever told me, that though he ever want to be a fighter pilot
like his father, deep inside his heart he wanted to be a surgeon. It’s quite pathetic
seeing he’s the one who beeing treated instead of the one who make a
treatment.”
Richard’s
eyebrow twitched a second when he heard that, James never said that to me, he thought. He moved his position into
half sat on James’ bed and began asking him. “It’s look like you are a best
buddy of him.”
That
soldier chuckled, “You’re not the only person who said that. James is a good
man, he’s easy to talk and loyal to his friends. A figure of great soldier and best
brother on our squad. It is a pleasure for being one of his best friend.”
“Yeah,
you’re right.” A mental picture of James and this man laughing, helping at each
other and spent all of their days together on field sharing their secret life
didn’t help Richard to hide his bitter voice from his jealous or keeping him
from asking, “I’m sorry for asking, but are you married yet?”
“Is
it any problem with that?”
“No,
just, wonder. I’m sorry, please do forget what I’ve asked you.” Richard left
him and walked into the door, “Please enjoy your time, I will wait you
outside.”
“No,
please just stay. I will no longer be here.” He waited for Richard to sit back
before began to speak. “James always told me about someone he knew very much.
Someone who mean everything for him.” He glance at James’ figure and
continuing, “He said that he met that person before his life had change like
this, and become mate not long after that. He said that that person is
something special he never met before, a person who made him willing to give
all of his life for them.” Ben move his eyes from James to Richard. “He love
that person very much, somehow make me think that the person James’ in love is
someone who are the luckiest one in the world.” He stood then glance at James
for the last time and saying ‘get well
soon’ before walked into the door, followed by a red blushing Richard
Hammond. They stopped in the doorway while Ben finished his sentence. “And it
is an honor for me to be able meeting that person personally and knowing that
their feeling are mutual.” He smiled then leaved.
Made
Richard just glared at him with his blush face. But then he snapped out and
called him, “Thanks for spent your time seeing him.”
Ben
turned around and smiled, “No problem.” He said as he waved a goodbye.
Richard
went inside and sat beside James after that. He watch that man and grabbed his
hand, letting his mind wandering about everything. About James’ laugh, James’
figure when he played his grand piano, James’ face when he confessed to him.
The
last thought made this short man blushing even redder and groaned in ashame. He
placed their hand on his cheek and wishpering something for James.
“Your
friend had come earlier. He told me a little things about you and bring you
those flowers. Without you knowing, you’re being loved by many people, James.”
He kisses James’ hand, “Please, wake up. We missed you, I missed you.” Then
just like always he stood up to kissed James’ forehead before walked away to
get some food.
**
“Ben?”
A
voice from behind him made Ben Collins stopped in the hallway and turned
around. The only one he spotted from there was Jeremy with his doctor uniform
and walked approached him. “Jeremy, it’s nice to met you again.”
Jeremy
replied his hand then walked side by side with him. “I thought you were still
on your duty, didn’t even thought that we could met again.”
“Just
spent my day off visiting an old friend.”
“Thanks
for saving him by the way.”
“He’s
a good brother, he deserve to get that.” Ben shifted his backpack before
saying, “Oh, I’ve met him. The one that James always told me about.”
“Richard?”
He
nod a little, “Richard.”
“What
did he say when he saw you?”
“Not
much, just...,” he smiled when he remembered him, “He’s easy to be jealous. He
even asked me wether I have been married or not.”
That
made Jeremy laughed and patted his shoulder, “Well done mate, is there anything
else?”
“No.
But I could tell that he’s love James as much as James loved him, that made me
kind of relief.”
“Right,
knowing that James’ feeling is not just an hollow hope.”
They
parted not long after that, saying goodbye at each other because Ben used his
lift to reach the first floor while Jeremy choose an upper floor to continuing
his general check up.
# # #
Jeremy
stood beside James when Richard come back from his house. Francie had gone mad
after knowing that Richard was not home for more than three days again. And
trust me, a mad Francie was more terrible than the worst car suspension.
He
write something on his board, an usuall duty from a doctor for his patient, and
when he turned around he saw Richard stood beside that sofa. He gretted him
with a simple good morning talk while he finishing his writing.
“Is
it allowed a doctor to sat at there on their check up hours?” He said when
Jeremy sat on that small chair.
“Oh
shut up.” He glanced at his board once again then frowning, “Hammond, if I’m
not wrong it’s almost a month since the first time he arrived, right?” Richard
gave him a nod, “Well, there’s some news I want to tell you.”
“Good
or bad?”
“Both
of them. We need to move in my office if we want to discusse this.”
“No,
please, just tell me right now.”
Jeremy
gave him a look, “Well, okay, good news is, his condition is perfect, I meant
he become better than before.”
“That’s
why you remove all of those life support.”
“Right,
can I continue?” Richard gave him a simple nod, “What I want to told you is his
brain is working, and I’m sure he can hear us or understand everything that
happens right now. It’s just like he’s wake up but sleeping.”
“Doesn’t
that mean he should be awake right now?”
“Yes,
in fact he should have been awake in four or five days ago.”
“Is
that your bad news?”
“I’m
afraid it is.”
That
made Richard went silent and threw his body on a nearby sofa. His expression
told everything about his feeling as he ran his hand through his hair.
Confused, disbelieve, hurt, angry, everything. They silent for a moment before
finnaly Richard broke those creepy mood. “You’re not joking, right?”
“I
know it sound like an ugly midday tv drama but believe me I’m honnest with
you.”
“Is
there anything you can do?”
“I’m
sorry I can’t. It’s beyond my reach.” Jeremy took a sharp breath then stood up
from that chair. “All I know is, Richard, all of this depents on how much he
want to come back in this life. And that means, from my point of view, depents
on how much you could bring him back from his mind. That’s all.”
“What
do you mean that’s all? You are a doctor, how possible a
most-logical-human-ever said something illogical like that!?”
“Listen
Hammond, there’s a moment when a doctor can’t do anything but pray for a
miracle. We’re not God, we just do what we could do to help someone could still
alive.”
“James
is alive!”
“Yes
he is, but he don’t want to!”
That
made Richard snapped from that sofa and watched him with his hurt eyes. “Why
did you said things like that?” he hissed.
“I’m
sorry Rich, but that’s the truth. I’m trying to being logic in here.” Jeremy
lifted up his hand to stopped Richard from gave him another argument. He took
another deep breath to calmed himself before saying, “James is my friend too,
more like family than a simple coleages. It’s hurt seeing him just laying
hopelesly like this without anything I can do for him. Believe me, you’re not
the only one who dissapoint in this situation, but you’re the only one who can
save him from himself.” He placed back his pen on that pocket, “Please excusse
me.” He said then left to continuing his job.
Still
with his complicated mind, Richard walked slowly toward James and sat beside
him. He grabbed James hand and place his head on James’ pillow, letting some of
those curly hair thickled his nose.
He
quite for a minute, didn’t want to said anything at all. A gentle squeze from
his hand screaming out loud what he’s been thought right now. Richard opened
his mouth but he closed it again, his lips trembling when he fough hard his own
tears from falling down on his cheeks. Afraid that if he said something he’ll
just crying hopelessly like before.
“Is
it true James?” He said at last. “Is it true that you didn’t want to wake up
again? But why? Why you choose to death when you still had a chance to alive?”
Richard’s barrier had broke, a single tear fell from his eyes, followed by
another and another until he couldn’t speak anymore.
A
quite sob could be heard then. Just between James’ heavy breath and ECG,
Richard’s sob somehow became the most alive things in this room. He grabbed
James’ hand and inhaling sharply, hopelessly hunting James’ scent for filling
his lungs and cure his broken heart.
“I’m
sorry James, I’m sorry.”
Richard
loosen his grip but he didn’t move his hand. He lifted up his head to take a
look at James’ face from his blurry eyes then he kissed that cheeks lightly.
“I’m
sorry.” He wishpered, “Please wake up, I beg you James. Please, just open your
eyes and sees me.” He move his hand to caress James’ curly hair. No words
escape from his mouth because he decide to keep silent for a while, letting his
only sob filling the air.
“I
love you James, please don’t die. Don’t leave me, I don’t know how to life
without you, and I don’t want to trying. I want to hold your hand at night,
every single night. And I want to saw your face in every morning I wake up from
my sleep.” He continuing his caress, “Knowing that all of that is not just a
dream. But a simple pleasure of fact I could have when I’m with you.”
Without
a second thought, Richard leant forward to captured James’ lips with his own.
And just like what he had dream before, James’ lips was so soft but instead of
cold he felt a warm lips from there, a simple sign that his Captain was alive.
He
pulled backward to wishpered another love and apologize line before kisses him
again for a little more longer.
Without
knowing that Francie had watched him from the doorway and left quietly.
**
Jeremy
was sitting on his office with Francie accross the table. They talked about
James’ condition and Jeremy told her everything.
“So,
we can’t do anything anymore?”
“Yes,
it’s all depent on both of them. I don’t want to sound nasty, but I think all
of this is good for their own sake.”
“Just
hope that James could woke up soon after.”
“It’s
sad seeing them hurt.”
“Any
news from Mr.Dawe?”
Jeremy
grabbed his phone, “Nothing, but he know about his condition. Since James
didn’t told him anything about situation like this, he told me to kept James’
condition until James’ himself is giving up.”
“That’s
good decision.” Francie half sighed and leant on her chair, “Maybe people’s
right, just a kiss could help someone erase a little pain.”
They
quiet for a moment, but then Jeremy snaped from his daydream and watched his
wife, “What did you say?”
“You
heard me.”
“Come
on dear, is it true they’re kissing?”
“Well
maybe it’s just my sight went a little wrong.” She stood up after gave his
husband a wink and left him with a smile.
# # #
Almost
a week after Jeremy’s declaration, Richard never went home anymore though no
matter how hard Francie had told him so. His lighten face now become gloomy
like the first time James had arrived. Sometimes Francie felt angry to her
husband because saying those setence, but that was all gone when she realise
that if he didn’t do that there’s a chance for James for not ever wake up. And
of course that will worried Richard Hammond. Beside it was his husband’s job
for telling the truth about his patient’s condition to their family.
**
It
was rain when Richard decide to sleep that night. Not a heavy one, just a
simple pure rain which fell down like a dew in the red morning of autumn. He
sat beside James and told him a story about what has happened this day, like
always. He grabbed James’ hand when he did that, squezze it lightly then kissed
him when he done, murmuring a little ‘I
love you James’ in front of James’ face then walked away into that sofa.
But
for this night, when Richard closed his eyes, something different had happen.
His
peacefull night, a dream of him and James sitting side by side in front of
James’ grand piano, all was gone when his ears caugh some noise from James’ direction.
A noise, which only had one tone but sounds long, just a simple but frightening
tone which could be heard in the middle of a vague tapped from the rain, awaken
Richard from his slumber and force him to pull up his body immediatelly. Force
his big brown round eyes stared in horror watching those green straight line as
his ears kept refusing hearing that voice.
“James!”
A/N:
Finally! I did it! Yayy...!! Still one chapter to go and I will finish this
story :D . I thank you for every one of you who can patiently following this
story. Thank you so much guys, you are my support. Please wait for the final
chapter and love you people *wink
0000000000000000000
Legends:
1. ECG =
Electrocardiography
2. GSW =
Gun Shoot Wound
3. Upper Extremity = Upper limb, including the arm, axilla and shoulder.
4. Fracture collum
femoris dextra = Fracture in a right femur
neck
5. Occipital bone =
A saucer-shaped membrane bone situated at the back and lower part of the
cranium.
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