9/6/14

imnotevil's Top Gear FanFiction #2 - Mirrors Ch.10

Original Story and Author by imnotevil


Translate to  中文 by UshioK on [here]
A Top Gear Fan Fiction


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Pairing             : JM x RH, JC x FC
Genre              : Friendship, Romance, Hurt/Comfort
Quotes             : “... I was the one who ruined my own life.”

Mirrors
Chapter X – Mirrors

So now I say goodbye to the old me, it's already gone
And I can't wait wait wait wait wait to get you home
Just to let you know, you are....

                                                Justin Timberlake – Mirrors

            Richard was in front of James’ room shaking violently. His eyes were bloodshot, lips trembling and can’t help from sobbing all the time. The only one he could did was just lowering his head and muttering James’ name like a spell from an ancient magic. Hoping that could made his Captain back to his better condition, or even better, walked out from that creepy room with his handsome smile so he could hugged him tightly.
            But there’s nothing happened. He still alone, sitting in the lobby which too hurt for his ears because of it’s quietness, shivering from despair trying so hard to not imagine what the hell had happened inside.
            Thanks Lord a moment later he heard someone approaching him.
            It was a light step, regular but fast. Kind of step which came from a rushing woman on their heels. Somehow that could attract this hamster to raised his brown head and figure it out who was that.
            It’s Francie.
            With her blue-night jacket and worried face she ran right to Richard’s place. She slowed down a bit and hugged her mate immediately when that hamster stood up to welcomed her.
            “Oh dear Lord, Richard.” She felt Richard’s grip on her jacket became more tightened in every sob he made. “Hey, it’s okay, it’s okay Rich. James will be alright.”
            The young man didn’t answered her, actually he couldn’t answered her. Too much emotion. But his tears and sob were enough for Francie to knew how he felt right now.
            “Richard, sweetheart, James will be alright, it’s okay,” she said once again.
            It didn’t mean that Francie was not as upset as Richard was. But it’s not felt right if she just stood at there hugging her colleage who suffering from sadness and didn’t said anything to relief their feeling. Though she herself still had a doubt about James’ condition, she kept saying that James will be alright to Richard with a full hope in every words that it could became reality.
            A moment later, after just sobbing from his tears, Richard saying something that made this woman heart clenched pitying him. “I don’t want James to die.”
            She hugged him even tight, carresing his back even often while her soft lips answered, “Me too, Richard.”

**

            Right across the wall, there was chaos. Jeremy and his team doctor were trying so hard to kept James alive and brough him back to this life.
            “I got no cardiac activity now.”
            “One more, one more shock.”
            “It’s ready to use sir.”
            “Everybody clear?”
            “Everybody clear.”
            “Clear.”
            “Clear.”
            “All clear, shock?”
            “Shocking.”
            “One, two, three shock.” Everyone went silent when Jeremy shocking James’ chest.
            “Any pulse?”
            Jeremy raised his head, watching James’ ECG, “I’m not get anything, it’s PEA(1) on the monitor.” He groaned, “Give me epinephrine!” While he wait for his drug, Jeremy pushed his hand on James’ chest to gave him CPR. And that thought screaming inside his mind, hoping that could reach James wherever he was, ‘Come on mate! Get a grab! Don’t die or you will miss the answer you’ve been waiting for!’.

**

            They still sitting next to each other, same place, same feeling. After a moment of crying, now this brown head could controlled his emotion again, but he couldn’t help from a sob or tears. His face was still miserable.
            He used his palm to wiped away another tears.
            “I’m –,“ he sobbed, “I’m still hearing that Francie.” Another sob, “I’m still hearing James’ pulse from that, that thing – I’m,” another sob again, “I’m scared. I hate to hear that noise.”
            “Nobody wants to hear that noise Richard.”
            “What if James has gave up?”
            “He won’t.”
            “But, he was all right this past month, and suddenly –,” his words stopped when he felt a flood of emotion rushing in his chest, made him hard to breath. He was about to cry again. “He will die still with assume that I hate him.”
            “No Richard, don’t said that.”
            “I would never had a chance to answer his feeling.”
            “Richard.”
            “He will leave me, he will gone forever Francie.”
            “Richard, stop it.”
            “James is gonna die and I’ve hurt him.”
            “Enough Richard, James is okay, he will be alright.”
            “No he’s not!” he hissing, “We don’t know about James’ condition – you, don’t know about his condition! How can you be so sure that he will be alright!?”
            That made this lady silent in answer. She watched Richard who saw her back with his red eyes, “You’re right Rich, I know nothing about James condition right now. But, I’m not stop from praying.”
            They went silent after that. Richard didn’t say anything because he was too busy wipping his tears which began to fell again or shut his own mouth from sobbing another cry. And Francie couldn’t do anything except caressing his back like before.
            The atmosphere went heavy as no one said nothing. Both of this human didn’t know what was happened just right next to them, right beyond that white wall. They let the emptiness of this lobby to swallowed them into their own mind.
            But that was over when James’ room door opened.
            Showing Jeremy with his uniform soaking in sweat but smiling satisfied. Sadly though, that victory expression changed into a shock when suddenly Francie stood up almost covering Richard on her back.
            “It’s alright,” she said, “Lily with Joanna. How’s James?”
            “That was hell, believe me, but he survive. Just like what soldier always do.”
            Hearing that, the iron lady couldn’t hide her happiness as she turn around to saw Richard. Who simply just sat at there with his round eyes staring in disbelieve. “Come on Rich,” she grabbed Richard’s hand to help him stood up.
            And Jeremy couldn’t help from smiling pitying him when he saw Richard’s face, “You looks like a mess.”
            “I’m sorry,” he wipe a tear, “Jeremy, you’re not –“
            “I know when the time to joking around mate,” he smiled, “Please wait a moment, there’s still stuff to do.”
            And after Jeremy had gone, Francie pulled Richard into a tight-warm embrace. “You heard that? The old James never give up like always. Thanks God for his stubborness.”
            “He come back.”
            “He never leave.”
            “No,” Richard pushed her a little, making a gap so he could face to face saying this to Francie. With trembling lips he said, “He actually is come back Francie, to give me a chance. To prove him how much I need him.”
            “Then what will you do?” she spotted a tears that began to rolling down again.
            “Everything. I’m going to make him be the happiest people on earth. Just like what he did to me over the years.”
            And what Francie did next was reached out her hands to hold Richard again. But at this time, he was crying in a bliss.

**

            They waited for another 4-5 minutes before a nurse came out summoned them to came inside. While Jeremy’s team doctor and the nurses left to gave them some privacy, the spoken man still stood beside James’ bed waiting for his coleage and wife. And what Jeremy thought was right. Didn’t even bother about him or his wife’s presence, the first thing Richard did when he came in was sat beside James on that little white chair the doctor had pulled out before.
            Carefully not to touched the needle, Richard grabbed James’ palm tightly when he moved his eyes scanning that soldier’s face. Pale, but at least he was breathing. He wore that respirator again. With a little relief, the hamster crawled his finger from James’ palm onto his wrist. And that was there.
            There’s the pulse.
            Bumping slowly beneath Richard’s touch, rushing James’ blood from his vine through his body. He could felt that in his own mind. How that hot red liquid moving to supported James’ life.
            He knew he could heard the beeping voice from that ECG, but he refused to believe. Because, everytime that machine beeped he couldn’t help but remembering that incident again. He hate it, so he chose to heard it himself by felt James’ pulse. Something simple that could made this hamster’s life brighter.
            “Thanks Lord,” he said as he placed his brown head deep touching James’ mattress. Wetting it with his happy tears.
            Francie was the one who stood beside Richard, caressing that brown hair as the owner still refused to moved from his position. “Any news about James?”
            “Everything is going well,” Jeremy raised his hand when Richard raised his head immediately, “Let me explain. The shocking term James has had before was a sign that he will wake up in one or two days from now. It happens, sometimes, in comatose.”
            “That’s a good news then.”
            “Is there anything bad?” Both Jeremy and Francie turned their head at the still-trembling voice, both raised their eyebrow.
            “You want something to going bad?”
            “No! I mean,” Richard wiped the tears with his free hand, “Last time you told me about good news, there was anything good at all.”
            Jeremy laughed apologetic at that, “I’m sorry mate, but for this time, that’s my only news.” He heard Richard sighed in relief, “I’m going to leave then, please enjoy your time,” he nodding at Richard who thanked him then walked away.
            “Thanks for coming.”
            Francie walked on the other side of James’ bed, place where Jeremy stood before. “No sweetheart, thanks for called me,” she smiled warmly at Richard.
            That little man replied him a second then placed back his head right beside James’ hip. The way he held tight that soldier’s palm couldn’t escape from Francie’s blue eyes. Somehow made her smiled amused. He loved this man, she knew it. But seeing how tight his grip or how pure he lay his eyes or how patient he looked after James all this time made Francie realize that he was not just loved him, he lived for him.
            “Richard?” she got a single hum before he raised his head. “Mind you if I buy some drink?”
            “Okay.”
            “Coffee or tea?” she asked again as she reached the door.
            It seem that the hamster didn’t heard at the first place. He silent for a moment then answered her after that lady raised her eyebrow, “Oh sorry, tea please. Thanks Francie.”
            “My pleasure,” she winked, “Back in minute.”

**

            Richard sat in sofa when Jeremy examine James for the last time. Just to make sure that James’ condition was perfect for him to left behind. He had a little chat with Francie, and when the lady told him that Jeremy want her to went home together, Richard told her that it’s okay for him.
            “You sure?”
            “Well honestly..., somehow it’s not feeling right for me. Well, you know, it’s as if I called you but then I kicked you out.”
            She laughed softly, “You didn’t kicked me out. Beside, as long as you okay, both of you all right, is enough for me.”
            He scratched his head, “I’m sorry for shouted you earlier.”
            “It’s fine, I would do that if I’m in your position as well. You’re done sweetheart?” she asked as Jeremy grabbed his bag and approached them.
            “Yeap, he’s good. So, you going home or....”
            “Richard said he’s fine, right my dear?” she got a nod as an answer. And Francie didn’t stop from talking when Richard walked them outside, saying something about keeping James for tomorrow and told him to get a proper rest for this night. Since James was nothing to worry anymore. “You can call me if something bothering you again,” she said after gave that little man another warm hug.
            “Thanks Francie, I appreacite that.”
            “Anything for my little brother.”
            They waved goodbye and Richard went back to his place after the Clarksons out of his sight.
            All part of his body went heavy as he walked back beside James. He need some rest, he knew that. His energy had been drained out because of his tears and bad feeling. And that sofa look so nice for him. But he need James, he need to felt that pulse again.
            So instead of laying warmly in that brown sofa, Richard chose to sat back at there and placed his head at the same spot again. Right beside James’ hip, grabbing his palm. Though his muscle and bone screaming from ache and his head had gave up from headache, his stubborn mind winning the body to kept him half-laying at there. Guided him slowly into a deep slumber.

# # #

            People said that when you left in coma, you would had a supernatural experience. Such as meeting everyone who died, being a ghost, or even worse you could travel through hell. Not paradise. And another people said that when your body was in coma, your mind just wandering in your head. Floating in one place with nothing but darkness. But sometimes you could watched what the hell had happened in your past life just like a crappy old tv drama your grandma would watch.
            But none of the above James felt when he became a comatoes. Or maybe it could said: he didn’t remember anything when his blue eyes closed for this past month. The last memories he had, was when he laying hopelesly in the ward still wounded from his accident. He could remember the mess, the heat, the smell of blood and death from many injuries souldier at there. And nothing even close to that when his opened eyes starring at the spotless white celling.
            ‘Where the hell is it?’ he thought. But his curious stopped immediatelly when he felt something being touched by his fingers.
            Something a bit..., fury.
            A head.
            And as he glanced down he spotted a brown head which was too familiar for him to forget. He moved his fingers once again to felt those silky hair and he smiled. That was him.
            ‘So, I’m going home then.’
            The one who sat beside his bed and sleeping unguarded was the one who James love in his life. The one who he promised to himself to saved him night and day. The one who had broke his heart but he couldn’t help from still loving him.
            His lips felt so dry when he tried to opened it, so as his throath. Made no voice came out from the first shout. But he want to called him. He want to felt how that name being spell under his voice again. But he mentally swore when he heard a groan from below, followed by a little move as that brown head turned around facing him.
            And it was too close. Way too close to his fingers made him could feel the hot breath from his mate. But when he moved his fingers again suddenly that brown eyes opened, and neither of them moving again. It was until a moment later he saw as that little man raised his head watching him with his round eyes and opened mouth. Made the soldier smiled watching his funny expression.
            Carefully James moved his fingers again and he felt that man’s fingers hooked with his. Grabbed it tight but missing the needle in a perfect way. And since that man still didn’t say anything, James opened his mouth hoping he could made a noise this time.
            And what sounded was a simple name both him and that man missed all the time.
            “Richard.”

**

            Richard woke up when he felt someone shaking his shoulder. It was a nurse with one of Jeremy’s friend from his team doctor stood behind her, Dr.David Tennant, said the badge on his chest. Felt a little ashamed for not hearing them coming, Richard apologized then stood up moved onto that sofa.
            It was a medical check up, like always. Dr.Tennat said that James’ condition was still steady and there was nothing to worry about him. But his face changed when he saw Richard. With a worried expression he told him to get some rest – a proper rest – and had a breakfast. He had knew Richard from all this time that hamster took care of the soldier on his comatose. And Richard’s condition right now remembered him about that little man when the first week James had arrived.
            After making sure Richard that James was really fine he excusse himself to continued his check up. Left Richard with opportunity chose to use the bathroom and phone Mark asking about his vine’s condition.
            The day he spent back to normal again. Francie had come to kidnapped him to bought some lunch, and for this time, he didn’t refuse because Mark was there. Replace him for a moment to take his position as James’ keeper. They were back some minutes later with kebab and black tea for his assistant.
            Mark then excusse himself after another minutes of a little chit-chat, followed later by Francie. She kissed that Hamster’s cheeks after hugged him goodbye then waved at James. Then, knowing that there was nothing to do anymore, Richard turned on the telly and sat back beside James. He kept the volume in low while his eyes starred blankly watching the program. And without he even know, he had lay his head for another sleep.
            A sting on his neck was something that woke Richard from his nap, consequence from his wrong position on sleep. But he still too lazy to move onto that sofa. So with annoyed groan, he decide to just turned his head hoping that could reduce the pain.
            At first he thought he just imagine it. When he saw James’ fingers moved a little, he just watched it from his timid eyes. A little blurred and too much for his brain to thought that was real or not. But when he saw another move, his eyes opened in aware as he held back his breath.
            Frozen.
            Richard slowly raised his head to made sure about it, and what he found next was something he swore as much was the best thing he ever felt in his life.
            James was wake up. From his so damn long sleep. Who now, though his eyes still a bit foggy and tired, watched Richard with a smile on his pale lips. And Richard couldn’t help from trembling. He agaped didn’t know what he must said. His heart want to called James’ name but he couldn’t do it, a lot of emotion had filled his throat in a best way. But as he felt James’ fingers moved again, in instict he grabbed them and held it tight.
            Richard almost cried when he heard James’ hoarse voice calling his name. Something he want to heard all this time. He chocked on his own tears which began to blurred his sight as he opened his mouth to answer him.
            “Welcome home James, I miss you.”

**

            “So, you can’t feel your legs.”
            “Barely.”
            “Barely, okay sorry.” Jeremy scribing something on his clipboard and stood still at there waiting for the nurse to removed James’ respirator but left the ECG behind. Then after just the three of them in that white room, the doctor chose to sat beside James’ legs as he asked, “You sure you want me to read your report?”
            “Please do that.”
            “Okay,” he cleared his throath, “As far as I know, you had a lot of injuries including bone fracture, burn flesh and blunt trauma. Which I’m sure you must know the effect for your body. But,” he flip one page from that clipboard continued, “From their last CT scan, there’s nothing wrong with your brain and another internal organ. Then as we know your burn had recovered and so as every cuts in your body. So it seems that the only problem is your spine.”
            He stared at Jeremy who raised his head to watched him. “Paralysis, great.”
            “It’s okay James, it’s still me the one who run your theraphy.”
            “That’s what I’m worried about.”
            Both of them laughed then Jeremy stood up ready to left, “It’s nice to have you back.”
            “Thanks Clarkson.”
            “Be better soon mate.”
            “I will.” As that doctor gone, James closed his eyes took a deep breath. He saw Richard who still stood beside him with an uneasy face as he reopen those blue eyes, consider wether to sat or not probably. Their glanced met and James smiled, “It seems that I made another problem to you.”
            “Pardon?”
            “You looks miserable.”
            Richard raised his eyebrow then glanced down, breaking eye contact. Though his condition was better than some other days before, still, every people who knew him saying that he was so different from usual: tired, red eyes, dark bags, a little bit pale. And when he saw from the mirror, he barely knew who was the one who stared back at him. He tried to answered James but the spoken man had already told him to sat. So there he was.
            “Thanks for keeping me,” the hamster blushing, “It means everything.”
            “No problem James.”
            “How’s your vine?”
            “It’s erm..., it’s..., well, everything is okay,” he force to made a brieft smile before tear off their gaze. Honestly, he was not too much know about his vine for this past month, he gave all of his believe in Mark. Sadly for him, his poker face couldn’t fool this soldier.
            “You didn’t went home.” No answer, “Hammond. Look at me mate.” Still no answer. James sighed at that and repeated his setences, “Hammond, raise your head, and say it in my face that you did went home.”
            “I’m not,” he raised his head. “But, sometimes I went home to check my vine – or my house.”
            “For how long?”
            “Just, a couple of hours or something....”
            James sighed again this time, they went silent for a second before he spoke, “When Jeremy told me that you’re the one who keeping me, I thank you for that, really. But this was not what I expect. Not before I saw your face.” They watched at each other, “So it’s true then, I’ve ruined your life.”
            “No, James. It’s my decision.”
            “But you have more important life than me for you to keep.”
            Richard raised his eyebrow as he heard that setences, with gritted his teeth he said, “You mean you’re not important for me?”
            “I’m less important than your life. You must continuing your daily –“
            “I can’t James!” he hisses, half hurt half angry, “You want me to keep running my vine, sleep at night covering my eyes and ears like nothing has happen but knowing you laying in hospital like this?! I’m sorry but can’t! I –,” he wiped his eyes, “You’re just really important to me, you see!” He said for the final before busied himself wiping his tears again.
            And what James could do was just watched that little man who still lowering his head rubbing his eyes sobbing quietly. Somehow feeling guilty he said, “Hammond, I’m sorry.”
            “The first time Jeremy told me that you had an accident, I was torn. That was the first time my life became upside down again.” He took a deep breath as he raised his head, stared at James with his red eyes. “I couldn’t thinking, honestly, all the time. It was Mark the one who always covering my mess.” He laughed hopelessly, “In fact, I can’t count how many times I have cried since that day.” A single tear fell off from his eyes, “You said you have ruined my life. But the truth is: I was the one who ruined my own life.”
            The hurt he felt from Richard’s eyes had force James to raised his hand. Thanksfully Richard notice and grabbed it before the soldier ran out of his strength. “I don’t want to argue with you,” he said, “I’m sorry mate.”
            “It’s okay.” He rubbed his eyes with free hand then scoffed, “You just waking up from comatose, and I ruined the moment.”
            “It’s my fault, though. My first day and I used it to interogate you.”
            “No, it’s reasonable. People always did that when they saw my face, my fault for being so weak,” he sighed, “I’m tired from crying, James. I thought you would die, left me forever. I don’t know what would I do if you really had died.”
            Then instead of a spoken respon, James released his hand from Richard to raisen it even higher and reached that young face. The hamster could felt James’ palm cupped his cheek and moved his tumb to wipe the trace of his tears. “Then don’t cry Hammond.”
            “I don’t know if I can.”
            “Allow me to help you.”
            The young man blinked once. But then his surprised face turned into a warm smile and he couldn’t help from letting another tears to fell down. A happy ones. He grabbed that warm hand and turned his head slightly to kissed James’ palm, “You get my permission.”
            “Come here,” he said, and within a second the little man’s half body had already on top of him. Burried his face on that soldier’s chest as his small fingers grabbed that hospital-cloth tightly, didn’t even bother to held his tears wich began to streaming rapidly from his eyes weeting him. James then raised both of his arms, one lay on that hamster’s back when the other one caressing that brown hair. He closed his eyes took a deep breath and listening to that soft sob, somehow feeling guilty after what he had did to him. As he stop his caress, his mouth moving slightly when a soft whisper escaped from there saying, “I’m sorry.”
            There were a seconds pauses before Richard raised his head facing James with frown. “For what?”
            “Hurt you.” But before he got another denial from him, James had moved his hand guiding that little man’s face closer, stepped into a higher ladder of their complicated relationship as their lips met into a deep, gentle, long-lasting kiss.

# # #

            Days passed in the hospital and James’ progress on his health was great. And since James kept asking Jeremy to let him went home, though he still need a wheel chair to moved around, the doctor had grated that wish. But of course with two conditions. First, there must be someone who accompany him 24/7 and second he must took a trip to the hospital at least four times a week for his therapy.
            Thanksfully though, Richard insisted to being accepted as his keeper again.
            So there they were. While Richard still preparing James’ guest room for the owner – ‘cause of course it’s impossible for James to use his own bedroom in 2F – the soldier chose to wait in the backyard. Place where he spent most of his time wasting around when he tried to avoid the crowd.
            Some minutes later the hamster came back asking him, “Your room is ready. Wanna go there now?”
            “Wha – ? Oh, thanks Rich, but I feel I’m going to spent some times here.”
            “As you wish then.”
            “Are you free right now?”
            “Well actually there’s one or two things from my house I need to bring up here. But I can do it tomorrow though. Something bothering you?”
            “No, just wonder if you willing to accompany me for a while or not,” he smiled and Richard just starred blankly at him.
            But before the soldier had to change his mind, this little man mirrored his smiled with more warm feeling in it as he said, “My pleasure.” So after pulling a nearby chair just next to James, he sat at there and began to made a little chat with his mate.
            Talking about some random things such as James accident and what happend next after that. And when the older asked about what happen in the hospital during his coma, Richard didn’t forget to mentioned Ben in his story.
            “Really? I didn’t expect that he would come. Was he alone?”
            “Just him.” A paused, “And he told me that you ever told him about me.”
            “He did? What does he said then?”
            Richard raised his eyebrow when James asking that, followed later with blush as he turned around refuse to watched James’ face, “I’m forget.”
            “No you don’t. Come on Rich, I know when you lie to me.”
            “Well, um,” he cleared his throath, “ He said something like ‘the one that James fall in love with must be the luckiest person on earth’ and many more,” he said still avoiding to saw James.
            “Oh, he overacted it.”
            “But for me he’s right,” and before James could give him a respons, Richard tried to being brave with raising his head facing him and saying, “You should tell him that you has waking up. He looked so worried when he saw you that time.”
            He knew. Of course James knew that setences just an excuse from Richard so the soldier wouldn’t bring up the topic about what Ben had say to Richard again. And James didn’t insisted that. ‘Cause what Richard said before he said that excuse was enough for him. “You have a point there. Maybe after this I will ask him for some visit.”
            “Ask him to coming here?” a nod, “Oh, right, okay. That would be great.”
            “What’s the matter?”
            “Huh? Uh, no, nothing.”
            “You don’t want him to come around?”
            “What? Of course I don’t mind about that.”
            A paused, “Say it Richard, is there something bothering you? About him?”
            “Nothing, it’s okay.”
            “Come on mate, tell me what happend. He did something to you?”
            “Of, of course not! He’s a good man.”
            “Then tell me, I know you hiding something about him from me.”
            “Well actually, it’s something about his behavior to you,” he paused to wait James’ answer but the soldier just staring back at him. “You know, the way he saw you or how much he know about you..., somehow it bothering me.”
            “So, you mean you jealous with him?”
            There’s no answer from Richard. He tried to not saying anything to hide his embarrassment but it seems that his blushing face had betrayed him when he found James’ smirk.
            But then James reach out his hand to grabbed Richard’s hand then took a deep breath, “I’m just going to send him an e-mail then. Thanks him and tell him about my condition.” His eyes lowered as he staring their hands. Went silent in a deep thought before suddenly saying, “Will you living together with me?”
            It took a couple of minutes before Richard respon him with squeaking then blushing violently. “But we, we already did, right?”
            “You know what I mean.”
            “But James, isn’t that too suddently?”
            “I didn’t say that we must do it now, I will wait until you ready.”
            “Then, then let’s wait until you recovered, shall we? So you can help me moving my stuff here.”
            “That sound like motivation for me.” Then there was a pause before Richard calling his name, which being replied by a single hum from him.
            “Can you not using that ‘will you bla bla bla me’ line?”
            “Why?”
            “’Cause the way you said it, sound like you proposed a marriage to me, you see,” he said with another blushing face.
            Which of course made James couldn’t help but laughing. Then after saying sorry he rose his hand to carresing Richard’s cheek while saying, “Don’t worry, I will do that in a romantic condition than this.”
            They watched at each other and Richard’s blush went straight even redder as he lowered his head murmuring, “Shut it James.” Made the soldier releasing another laughed while guided him to placed his brown head laying on that strong shoulder.

# # #

            It took almost half a year for James to being able to walk again, all thanks to the therapist from Jeremy’s team who had responsibility for his recovery. And of course more importantly, Richard who always stood on his side, patiently took care of him and motivating him to not given up.
            So, just like what they had promise before, now James was stood in front of Richard’s desk in his bedroom to help the hamster grabbing his stuff and moving out to his house as they now start to live together. But since the little man still out of his sight and he know nothing about Richard’s important stuff, the soldier chose to sat down and wait him while he rest his already tired legs.
            Accidentally laying his eyes on something that poking out of Richard Vine’s journal. Something that looks like a letter, with his name written on it.

**

            “James, don’t you see my key? The one with Texas flag on it. I swear I put it beside my telly but it’s gone now..., what are you doing?” he stopped in the door.
            “Just found some-interest-thing on here.”
            “Found what?” and when he stepped inside, suddenly a bell ringing in his mind told him about that ‘some-interest-thing’ James had found. Which then raising his panic level into beyond as his face burning into ashame and force his legs to half running onto the taller man. “James you swine! Give it back to me!”
            “Whoa chill out mate, what happen?”
            “Give it back to me!” he reach out his arms trying to caught the letters that James had keep away from him, “You have no right to read it, you imbecile!”
            He laughed at how red Richard’s face right now, “Why? You gonna send it to me after all.”
            “No I’m not!” he groaned, “Come on James, give it back to me!”
            Then after another minutes of wrestling with Richard, finally the soldier gave up and let the little man to have them back again. But instead of letting them go, as the hamster grabbed those letters James caught his waist to pulled him sat on his lap.
            Which for his surprise making Richard squeaking and yelling, “James, your legs!”
            “It’s fine, I’m alright.” And after making sure that he was completely fine, he began to asked, “Tell me Richard, why you keeping them from me?”
            “No reason,” he said pouted and glancing around at anything but James.
            “Come on Rich, are you mad at me?”
            “Nope.”
            “You look cute when you angry, you know.”
            “Me what!?” and with that finally his eyes laid back to James.
            “Got you. Hey listen, I have no idea that you missed me that much, I’m sorry for causing you such trouble.”
            “No, it’s me making my own trouble,” he hushing James when he tried to complain, “You’ve read it, right? I’m sure all of this will never happen if I have realise my own feeling to you that time.”
            “But it’s worth it.”
            “But it’s too painful for me.”
            “Still, it’s good for both of us.” He cupped Richard’s cheek to pulled him downward and gave him a quick kiss, “I’m not sure we can be this close if you accept me that day.”
            “Just, let’s forget it, shall we?”
            “And start packing again?”
            He paused for a moment, “Actually, I have a better idea than that,” he said with smirk and continued on kissing James again.

A/N: It’s end! I can’t believe I finish it *happytears* It’s all thanks to you everyone! For always being patient waiting and reading this story. I love you so much! *kissingnoise* Really, I’m still cannot believing that I actually had finish this. ‘Cause, well, honestly, I almost abandoned this story after being stuck and have no power to move in next chapter *bowingforapologise* But then I remember all of you and believe me, I know the feeling as a reader when the author chose to make their stories hiatus. Yeah, right, I hate it too. That’s why I tried so hard to kept this story showing up again and again though there’s a lot of delays from me. Once again, I thanks all of you for reading and/or luved this story. I hope we could met again someday in another story. Bye all. Oh, and you think this is the real ending? Please klik next chapter button to read the real one. And feel free to read the sequel of this if you haven’t read ones. It’s called ‘Daylight’ and ‘If Tomorrow Never Comes’. Finally, bye everyone, love you all *wink

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Legends:

1. PEA = Pulseless Electric Activity. Refers to cardiac arrest situation in which a heart rythm is observed on the electrocardiogram that should be producing a pulse, but is not. (wikipedia)

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